Desire & Expectations

In matters of desire or the heart, it’s often more faithful to your own self-respect and your care for the others' feelings to depart from reality rather than your imagined expectations. If you build an image of what your partner or the dynamic ought to be, not only will it interfere with the natural development of the friendship, but it will also set you on a downhill hike from the peak of your expectations to the bottom of your disappointment in the real situation not meeting them. A dear friend Romy once told me that “expectations are just pre-meditated resentments”, and while there is a minimum expected bar of respect and care for the other person’s dignity, any instrumental expectations on the experience of our partner of the partner themselves will set us up for an active resistatnce to what the friendship is naturally progressing into. The alternative is also cool, if you start with an empty mind and an empty heart, every moment is an opportunity for wonder and love.