Rain or Reign

Over the last few tears I’ve befriended a kind soul named Stephen. Every night Stephen finds a new bed and on sunny days he borrows a guitar from a pawn shop on Saint Catherine. He likes to take it up to Mont Royal and serenade the city. He plays beautifully and his melodies have mended my broken heart on more than one occasion. He told me once that every name has at least two meanings, two sides of the same coin, a dark side and a light side, and it's up to each of us to choose what our names will mean. I told him that غياث comes from the root غيث which means 'rain'. Thats when he asked if I spelled it rain or reign when I imagine my role in this world. When Obi-Wan Kenobi tested Anakin’s potential for connecting and moving with the force, he found a count of over 20,000 midichlorians, Which is NUTZ! This count of greatness was accompanied with a warning that is often given to heroes and real life people alike: It’s not enough to be a great person, we must strive to be good as well. Where we take our gifts, how we relate to the world, to our selves, to transient suffering , misfortune, to love & joy, makes the world of difference in whether we end up as Darth Vader or the freakin legend that destroyed the Death Star. I can't say for sure if my rain will grow flowers or will reign in terror. It's because I have a well lived heart that I can’t delude myself into taking up some rigid and unmoving trait of goodness that my imperfect humanity precludes. I can’t hide behind heaven’s gates when I’m far from done living, making mistakes and learning from them. The self-righteous cast their stones and hide their hand from themselves, they seek forgiveness in prayer with no intention of change. It’s because I have a loving heart that I accept the suffering of this world, the cycles of hurting because of the world, and hurting it back; I accept it but choose to break the wheel that distracts our minds from the fact that when we suffer, we all suffer together. We all love together too. This world shares a heart beat and I want to honor that.